Sentence structure and grammar, we are going to look at those together because they need to do utilizing the mechanics associated with the essay.
And then it picks up body paragraph number 2 aided by the reference the exact same paths, says ‘what may not brighten those paths is free tutoring.’ So in place of likely to those canned transitions like, ‘on the other side’ or ‘now I’m going to speak about’ it simply hits this notion this reference to these paths. Making sure that’s a really strong natural transition that really strengthens the organization associated with essay.
The really solid thing that this essay does is offer a lot of sentence variety. That i said you could use to kind of chart your sentence variety, what I’ve done in the bonus materials for this essay is chart the sentence variety of one of the body paragraphs if you remember back to the bonus materials, there’s a sentence variety chart that I gave you. And you can see by taking a look at the different kinds as well as the different lengths of sentences that this really has a great flow, there’s lots of variety there. Additionally this essay uses an advance vocabulary but it is not just advanced, it’s used appropriately. So here the example is, ‘Free tutoring doesn’t aim in the centre of this problems facing schools; a wider number of classes does by livening interest in school up until graduation.’ Therefore we’ve just seen an advance sentence structure and an advance use of vocabulary very strong language that is commendable https://custom-writings.net
These are all the reason why why this essay earned an 11 which is in which you want to be, ideally scoring ten to 12 on the ACT writing.
Now let’s have a look at sample essay number 2.
Go right ahead and go directly to the bonus materials and print it out. Again I’m going to start with reading the first paragraph but it surely is likely to be important for you yourself to have a tough copy on front of one to follow along. Alright, this one starts with ‘a problem that is major many high schools face is students failing continually to graduate, or dropping out before they will have the chance. High schools across the nation have attempted countless programs that are different processes to attempt to combat student’s failure, some proving more successful than others. In my experience, offering a wider number of class options would do a better job of promoting success than merely offering free tutoring because ‘interest’ promotes a desire to master and stay at school, something which not only getting help can do.’ So this one starts out quite similar to essay number one however if you noticed this one only scored a seven. So it’s still into the half that is top a far cry from the 11 that the very first essay scored. Here we’ve got again a rather strong position and knowledge of the duty. This writer says ‘offering a wider selection of class options would do a better job of promoting student success and merely offering free tutoring because the interest promotes the desire to learn and stay at school.’ Therefore we’ve got a situation, we’ve got reason, further more we have the development of a counter argument. You could already infer even when you haven’t read the essay with this that this writer must not do a good job of incorporating and powering up on that counter argument otherwise they would have scored a lot higher in the essay. So solid ‘task and position’ why don’t we see where it falls a bit that is little.
‘Complexity and development’ alright this writer says, ‘My senior school really helps many students by offering peer tutors because learning from peers is much more appealing than being re-taught by adults. ‘tutoring helps many who may be too frustrated that they can’t understand their classes and would like to drop out.’ Now the first thing I notice when I look at this could be the wording is a little bit confusing here and I also’m not really sure what this is supposing because, honestly it is making tutoring appear to be a very good thing. The positioning statement told me that this essay would definitely be arguing for a wider number of classes. Which means this may be an attempted counter argument, but where it falls short is it does not completely dismiss the counter claim, it leaves the reader wondering but what is this person proving. So that’s the place that is first falls short in complexity and development. The essay also says, ‘Offering many courses helps to ensure that students will still yet learn have some fun and become less stressed.’ Now this really is in the second body paragraph and also this is the first time that the writer has introduced this notion of ‘having fun and becoming less stressed’ and it’s really unclear where that links to the position that ‘a wider assortment of classes is better for learning.’ It focused and supportive.
Finally in organization this essay is organized simply but effectively it’s kind of predictable but that’s why it scores a seven rather than very up at the top of the scale that is in the 11. This essay says ‘In addition to more classes, having parents and teachers who worry about students’ success, offering extra-curricular programs to increase an active connection with the college, having assemblies and events to market school spirit and lots of other factors are typical essential in promoting success.’ Now they are really ideas that are great definitely on topic, but one might expect to see these ideas introduced in the introduction after which followed up on in the essay. However once you know where this paragraph arises from could be the conclusion and that’s one of many big no, no’s for that basic organization. You don’t introduce ideas that are new in conclusion because all it will is serve to confuse your reader. They aren’t something that you have mentioned and none of one’s support relates to it. So this is just why this essay’s score is a bit that is little in organization.
‘Sentence structure and grammar.’ Alright this essay says, ‘Something that not help that is merely getting do.’ This will be one of the relative lines that really stuck out to me in reality it is the main position statement which can be one of those sentences that readers are really focused in on, if you are given your thesis or your role, they want that it is clear. And also this wording is truly kind of confusing, I’m not sure what things are referring to, what the something is and it’s just a little bit awkward. So again we’ve got sort of this awkward use of language which keeps this essay down for the reason that mid range rather than shooting it as much as the higher range that shows a command of this language.
Alright the handful of pitfalls that this essay come across you want to make sure you avoid that we already have talked about and. This essay makes ‘hasty generalizations’ the relative line, ‘only students with a desire to enhance will benefit from such a program.’ That’s a big jump. In order that’s saying basically if they don’t whole heartedly want to be there they’re going to flat out fail if I give tutoring to everybody. And I think that’s a leap that is really big flaw and logic. Moreover it gets a little bit wordy, ‘The most crucial, though, is a student’s aspire to learn and to succeed;’ it simply goes on and on about this. And lastly we talked concerning this ‘basic organization’ not merely do we now have style of candid transitions like ‘in addition’ to and ‘furthermore’ but we talked about the introduction of new ideas when you look at the conclusion which really throws the reader for a whip. So coming back to wrap it all up the seven indicators that the readers are going to be trying to find will be your ‘understanding of the task,’ the ‘position’ you take, the ‘complexity’ with which you talk about the presssing issue, the ‘development’ or support you provide, the manner in which you organized your thinking after which how you deliver it together with your ‘sentence and word choice’ and your ‘grammar.’
In this episode we’ve taken a review of two essays, both were solid they scored within the top half but clearly we see why essay one scored an 11 while essay two scored a seven.
So now you need to attack the ACT writing section, I know you’re going to do great that you guys have the tools and the information.